A warm congratulations goes out to Sarah Cook for winning the Spring Writing Contest, LMAO: Writing with Humor.
Her piece "Monday's Misstep," as well as the other finalist from this year, will be available to read electronically soon. Stay tuned!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Happening Now: The Learning Center's Discussion About Music Genres
I understand that people naturally have different tastes and opinions. What I don't understand is how people (who claim to be open-minded) close themselves off completely to entire genres of music. Especially people who are "musicians" or say they are "musically savvy" say things like, "I don't like Corporate Rock." It seems that these people say these things because they are trying to differ from the mainstream. A classic phrase that I hear a lot is, "I like everything but Country." Grrr... Pet peeve!
I always express that I judge music on a song-by-song basis. I try not to judge a song by its genre. Obviously I have styles of music that I tend to like more than others, but I try to give each song a chance. I think over-generalizations are annoying--even when it comes to music!!!
I always express that I judge music on a song-by-song basis. I try not to judge a song by its genre. Obviously I have styles of music that I tend to like more than others, but I try to give each song a chance. I think over-generalizations are annoying--even when it comes to music!!!
Friday, June 12, 2009
How to Give a Cat a Pill
Got this in an email a few years back. I've just re-discovered it and thought I'd share!
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill inside. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by the cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in the end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow pill down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck; leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey to compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect 'mutant cat from hell' and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
1. Wrap pill in bacon.
2. Toss it into the air.
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill inside. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by the cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in the end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow pill down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck; leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey to compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect 'mutant cat from hell' and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
1. Wrap pill in bacon.
2. Toss it into the air.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
(Blog Jar) I saw the funniest thing...
it was my purple-tinted face in the reflection of the aerobic room mirrors while doing pilates!
When I leave OU-C, I will best be known for...
The lucky topic that I drew out of the blog jar...
When I leave OU-C (will that EVER happen!?) I think I will be known for several things. Obviously not everyone here knows me; I don't think I'll be leaving this institution as a legacy. However, those who are fortunate enough to have been graced by my presence (toot, toot) will most likely remember my perfectionistic, ever-enduring work ethic. Perhaps they will remember my sometimes unhealthy, passionate, borderline-obsessive, frantic attempt to tackle assignments. On a personal level, I think I will be known for my deeply caring attitude and for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Positive, negative, or somewhere in between, I think these qualities are some that are most striking about my personality. In my time left here, I hope that I will make a deep enough impression on someone so that I will "be known" for something!
When I leave OU-C (will that EVER happen!?) I think I will be known for several things. Obviously not everyone here knows me; I don't think I'll be leaving this institution as a legacy. However, those who are fortunate enough to have been graced by my presence (toot, toot) will most likely remember my perfectionistic, ever-enduring work ethic. Perhaps they will remember my sometimes unhealthy, passionate, borderline-obsessive, frantic attempt to tackle assignments. On a personal level, I think I will be known for my deeply caring attitude and for wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Positive, negative, or somewhere in between, I think these qualities are some that are most striking about my personality. In my time left here, I hope that I will make a deep enough impression on someone so that I will "be known" for something!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)