OU-C Writing Center

2012-02-08T09:38:00.000-05:00

What should a writing center space look like?

2012-01-28T17:34:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon a presentation by Daytona State College that really captured my interest in its mere format: http://prezi.com/0dtegbimclol/swca-conference/

Be sure to check it out and let me know what you think--what could we use such software for?

Risky Blogging

2012-01-11T07:27:00.000-05:00

So, I want to post a cool site a friend (shout out to Prof. Ray!) emailed to me the other day. I stumbled on it again while I skimmed the Wcenter Digest this morning:

The Oatmeal.

Sweet, eh? Unless, of course, you knew about this two months ago . . . then, I look, well, old and out of the loop . . . why does blogging feel so risky at times?

Advice to Tutors

2012-01-10T14:17:00.002-05:00

I am taking an English course this quarter in Lancaster, and the professor of the class is unlike anyone I have met before in my academic career. As a writing tutor, we are encouraged to assist students in various areas of their papers. It seems most of the students probably wouldn't utilize the learning center if not told about it's existence and required by their professor to at least show up here once. In my English course, the professor does not recommend that students see tutors, or have their peers look at current papers because any influence could destroy the writers voice. At the same time, some do not know how to begin to use their voice and that's where tutors come in. We sort of present guidelines, a lens or perspective as a starting point. It does take a lot to be criticized, and it is indeed difficult to come into a writing center under the impression that someone else is going to tear their writing piece apart. I almost feel torn this winter session because my professor has a viewpoint that is an extreme opposite on the spectrum of helping other writers. There has got to be a balance somewhere in there that addresses helping a student without destroying their voice. Not everyone is a writer!

Re: Ron Maxwell's Advice to Tutors video

2012-01-10T13:56:00.002-05:00

I completely agree with Ron Maxwell's advice to tutors. In every class presentation I give I try to emphasize the fact that although we are tutors we are students as well. I make it clear that we are not perfect and our goal is to make the writer stronger, not judge. To these fresh (and sometimes frighted) students there tends to linger a misconception that we are writing scoffers set to criticizes and loudly point out flaws. So many times, and I know this from personal experience, English students pour themselves into their projects. The thought of presenting these personal and loved ideas to a complete stranger, especially one who's perceived goal is to point out flaws, can be a terrifying prospect. I think this ideas is the reason for some of the distant attitudes I have come across from students "just needing a slip". It is something of a defense against what they think is coming.

It is important for our fellow students to understand that we are still in the learning process too. Many times I have learned as much from a session as the student across from me. I think if more students could see us as just another person from class and less as the writing henchman, we would all be more comfortable from the start. And let's face it, we all benefit from a friendly, comfy tutoring session.

On Ron Maxwell's Advice to Tutors

2012-01-10T13:37:00.000-05:00

PeerCentered: Ron Maxwell's Advice to Tutors

“Respect the writer.”

This should be our mantra.

As tutors and peers to our tutees, we know what criticism can do. Tutees must know that they can come to tutors in confidence and be aware that we tutors are not here to tear apart their work; we are truly here to help. It takes a great deal of courage to ask for help in many situations; therefore, we need to respect the fact that students have come to us and have entrusted us to assist them.

Letters Home

2011-10-14T13:23:00.000-04:00

Kyle Jones, a former writing tutor now taking classes in Athens, recently shared his latest experiences at the Freedom Plaza:

We arrived in DC on Saturday; I went with two friends of mine (who, like me, are ready to stir things up!). We stayed in Baltimore with one of my friend's aunt.

Once we got off the metro and walked into DC, we were ready for anything. Walking downtown, some guy had a dry erase board around his neck that read: "what can we do to make America better?" (See picture attached). I, naturally, represented my kind, and proudly wrote, "Workers Unite!" Lol, as you can see, not much has changed. As soon as we approached Freedom Plaza, I heard a familiar voice, Ralph Nader. It was nice to meet him, but the man has terrible hearing, lol. We talked to many protesters, asked them where they were from, why they were here, etc. The stories were fantastic, and the overall commraderie of the environment was intoxicating.

We started our first march around 1:15 p.m., and we were heading to the National Air and Space Museum to protest against a drone exhibit. As my group approached the museum, twenty police cars flooded the area, a helicopter came out of no where and started circling the museum, and all of a sudden I saw several people near the entrance of the building lying on the ground. That's right, the Smithsonian security MACED about thirty protesters, they also detained (later arrested) a girl who refused to leave the museum--she was a trooper, she sat inside the museum and recanted the Law Officer's Oath. (Later, I found out that several protesters were trying to go inside the museum, the Smithsonian security told them to leave, they refused, so they maced them. ) As a result of the "confrontation", the museum was shut down, so we (the protesters) had to deal with angry tourists blaming us for ruining their vacation. However, the fun didn't stop here.

We found out that the girl who had been arrested was being held at a nearby police station, thus, we decided to go as a group and demand her release. We marched to the police station, stood outside, and brought the protest to a location that had plenty of mace to go around! After about an hour, they released our comrade and she recounted what happened. She told us that they arrested her for "assaulting a police officer." They took her to the station, and after she successfully fought her case, they changed the charges to "exciting a crowd." Shows you how ignorant the police were because we were already excited, lol. Once we arrived at the police station, they released her and made her pay a fine for the excitement of a crowd charge, but it was a powerful moment for me, and my friends.

My friends and I are planning to make our way to Wall Street, so hopefully, the protesters keep it up! We'd also like to make our way to Boston and Wisconsin, but only time will tell. It was a great experience going to Freedom Plaza, and it gave me a feeling I never had before; that is, I felt that for the first time in my life, my ideas came to life, and I was "walking the walk." Despite being miles away, I felt enormously at home.

National Day on Writing

2011-10-14T12:10:00.001-04:00

Since an entire day has been dedicated to writing, we can pose questions about that very subject.

Why do you write?

What did you write today?

What do you like to write about?

How does writing lead to action?

What is considered "good" writing?

What can be accomplished with a well-written piece?

National Day on Writing

2011-10-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

Don't forget the Gallery folks:

THE FISHBOWL

WC project ideas

2011-10-14T11:27:00.000-04:00

National Day on Writing

For the National Day on Writing (Oct. 20), we ought to promote the Fishbowl, our gallery on the NCTE website. It's got some great pieces on it, but it doesn't get a lot of exposure. I suggest we post excerpts of all the gallery pieces on the windows outside the fishbowl, maybe on (tasteful) colored paper or with some graphics or something to give it a bit of a visual draw. We've done stuff like this before, and it usually gets a good response.

Lit Pub 2: The Unenclosing

I'd like to see more artwork in the next lit pub. Maybe we should create separate fliers to solicit art pieces. I think we also ought to look into the possibility of getting the art pages printed in color.

It's Friday morning. I'm short on ideas (and, incidentally, on coffee). What do YOU think, O readers? Quid cogitatis, O lectores?

Something simple: National Writing Day

2011-10-14T11:12:00.003-04:00

The task is come up with ideas to celebrate National Writing Day on campus. October 20, 2011 makes number three for this recognized fixed point on the calendar, yet I can't seem to get past the default postcards with writing prompts. I was unaware it existed until my second quarter working as a writing tutor for the college. Not to mention active creativity is not one of my best features. Ideally, I would want to spread awareness before celebrating no doubt a great concept. Writing seems so undervalued in a lot of areas in academia and sitting in the smoker section listening to students talk about the papers they have for their classes for the quarter is not expressed with the greatest enthusiasm. They seem to reinforce the negative side of writing to the point where it becomes a chore instead of something they enjoy doing. So lets celebrate a chore...? I know this may appear pessimistic, that perhaps my perspective on writing papers and college students may be unrepresentative to others point of views, but the probability that there is some truth to it is scary to a student who has a love of writing.

This in turn leads me to the thought process of how to make writing fun? Raffles? One day poetry contests? Offer free food and a place to socialize with "bring a writing piece entry to discuss"? Or default style with postcard/index card prompts spread across the glass of the fish bowl in hopes someone will take an interest to what is on them? Like I said, I am not the greatest active creativity on the spot type of person. I am game for almost anything. I would have fun going around pestering people to answer questions for me on index cards.

2011-10-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

National Day of Writing

2011-10-14T11:09:00.002-04:00

October 20th is the National Day of Writing. Most people will assume they can't get involved or take part in the celebration. But I think so may people forget how much writing we use in our everyday life. Whether writing a to do list, sending a text, or starting a novel you are taking part in our most universal form or communication and expression. It is easy to take a few minutes and write down what is important to you or help someone (I have my 3 year old in mind here) learn a few letters. There are a million little ways (and some very big ways) we can join in the fun. So take out you pen, keyboards, cell phones or whatever and start writing.

2011-08-31T13:36:00.001-04:00

mandatory blogging exercise during off-week training

2011-08-31T10:27:00.001-04:00

The prompt--what worked/didn't work (tutoring-wise) during the previous academic year?

The tutors worked, of course.

The lit pub worked. Worked us, anyway. Into the ground, some of us. But it was worth it.

The 2 1/2 months of database catch-up worked extremely well at testing my patience for mindless repetitive busywork.

Blogging didn't work, obviously.

The last-minute rush of slip-seeking students ("Can I just drop this off for a while and come back?") during finals week didn't work. It never works.

To work or not to work

2011-08-31T10:13:00.002-04:00

Just starting out in the writing center, I do not feel I am qualified to make such acknowledgements as what did work and what did not work as a new tutor last year. In a sense, everything as a whole did indeed work for me, if anything because it was something fresh and new to learn. I can say that the only time I did have any trouble was reading one students paper that screamed a controlling male was bleeping on my b.s.radar but professionally how I felt at that time is irrelevant and I moved on, thankfully, and forgot about it until this exercise. I also noticed that the varying levels of writing pieces that flow through here can be troublesome to the tutors because there are some students who need more help then the tutors are expected to do i.e. teach how to use a computer, or how to use the basics of Microsoft word, or even the most basic of spelling skills and grammar usage--like a capital letter at the beginning of a sentence followed by a period at the end. However, that is a matter for the initial testing students have to do for placement in levels of classes when they first start. On the other side, the atmosphere in the Learning Center is inviting, and I enjoy my co-workers company and input as well.

2011-08-31T10:12:00.002-04:00

One of the biggest irritants for me every quarter is the abundance of last minute students. I have never failed to have at least a handful of students come to me on their first visit to the writing center and announce, "here is my paper, it is due in an hour." Ahhh, really! This summer was no exception for students, including me. I gained a new prospective on all those last minute students by becoming one of them myself. As I was frantically trying to finish a major assignment for my professional writing course (five minutes before I had to leave for class) it dawned on me, maybe the last minute students of the past were not just lazy or unprepared as I had always thought in the back of my mind. Perhaps, like me, they were just overwhelmed. I truly appreciate being able to gain new prospective on the people and situations I have to deal with in the Writing Center, it can only help me become a better tutor and students. I hope the next time I find myself face to face with the "it's due in 20 minutes" student I can remember what it was like for me to be in the same situation. Although there may be little I can do for the student on the writing assignment, now maybe I can at the very least lend on understanding ear.

2011-08-31T10:11:00.004-04:00

The majority of my sessions this past year were rather simple, and I didn't have many issues. However, that worries me because I always felt I was missing some glaring error that needed addressed. I think I would be more efficient if I were to be able to quickly notice these problems and help to fix them. Or maybe I'm just a fantastic tutor and solve every problem (ha!) I'm fairly certain this is not the case!
Often, when I didn't have an answer to a question presented by a tutee, I asked another tutor with more experience for help (my apologies to the busier ones!) However, they were always helpful, especially when I first started working in the Writing Center. The team work in here is definitely working.
I try to always ask tutees if the information I have presented to them has helped them at all, and I always hope they say yes! The majority of the students say I have been helpful, and the other part seem simply too overwhelmed with the assignment to come up with a response (mostly ones that haven't begun yet.) My goal is to make these tutees contain the assignment and not feel quite as overwhelmed with it. This feedback has certainly helped me become more confident in assisting other students.
Overall, I hope the work that I do, and have done, is sufficient in helping students visiting the Writing Center.

2011-08-31T10:10:00.002-04:00

I seem to come across three types of students who come into the Writing Center each quarter: The Completely Clueless, who leave with a new excitement for writing; The Apathetics, who have absolutely no opinion about being with me or writing a paper; and, my absolute favorite, The Victims, who acts like I have crushed their only thing worth living for, and fights me on every issue. Now, there are varying degrees of how the tutees fit into the categories, and some quarters I feel like I'm making a Venn diagram in my head to encompass all of these personalities. But, in the end, each one of these students has challenges they are facing in writing-- some just want to make them a lot more difficult.

The students I grow agitated with the quickest are definitely The Apathetics. I know some students are strong armed into coming into the Writing Center, but that doesn't mean they have to sit across from me, slouched in their chair, trying to text while I tell them that, no, you do have to cite this entire paragraph that they "paraphrased" from Wikipedia. Students like this... well I think I need some more tips on how to even deal with them.

As far as The Completely Clueless, I really adore them sometimes. They seem to come in with a blank canvas, and by the end of the session, they are completely filled. They always seem the most appreciative and, in a way, are like a sponge; any information I give them, they soak it all up. These are the students with whom I normally form a bond, and they are my "regulars." Last quarter, I had a wonderful Completely Clueless who turned out to be a wonderful writer by the end of the quarter; his professor even came in to comment on how much his writing has changed.

The Victims... oh, how I crush their hopes and dreams with every purple mark on their "perfectly" articulated piece of art. They, along with The Apathetics, are the most likely to fight me. With every suggestion, comment, and question of change, they are defensive and rude; they have a reason for everything, and to them, I don't know what I'm talking about. They are another student that I could definitely benefit from learning how to tutor better; the sessions turn into an endless circle of excuse after excuse, and no changes are made.

But I guess that's tutoring. There are definitely skills I need to refine when working with students who have a bad attitude or who simply don't want to be here because I'm sure I will run into just as many this quarter as I have before.

Sparks.

2011-02-27T13:23:00.004-05:00

According to our CIA's annually published World Factbook, The United States (6.26/1000) is #46 globally when it comes to infant mortality (infant deaths per 1000 births). This position is directly behind Guam and two slots behind Cuba. Meanwhile, if the District of Columbia (14.1/1000) were it's own country, it would be displace the British Virgin Islands for slot #96. This means that a baby born in the Ukraine (8.98/1000) is more likely to survive than one born in our capital. The median household income for D.C. was $59,290 in 2009 while the same metric for the Ukraine was $27,996 during the same period.

Thoughts?

Tips for Tutoring

2011-02-11T15:26:00.003-05:00

The following sites and links are helpful tips and techniques for creating a helpful tutoring session:

1. In this link, the De Anza College has compiled a list of various links to excellent references and resources used in their own writing tutor sessions. This includes a wide range of topics, from thesaurus and dictionary sites to general writing techniques and their explanations.

- http://www.deanza.edu/studentsuccess/writing-reading-center/resources.html

2. The following is a handbook for the Bluefield College Writing Center. The link states objectives for tutors to use in their sessions, as well as processes and specific steps to follow to be certain a tutor is successful in helping the tutee.

- http://bcweb.bluefield.edu/cowl/tutor/bchandbook.htm

3. The next link is from the Dartmouth Writing Program. They have shared ways of quickly getting to know the student writer, as well as specific questions to ask the writer to help him or her achieve what he or she is attempting.

- http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/tutor/methods/diagnose.shtml

Writing Center Stuff

2011-02-11T15:09:00.003-05:00

http://php.scripts.psu.edu/dept/ulc/Dangling_Modifier/index.php

This is a great international newsletter written by and for peer tutors in writing and produced by the National Conference on Peer Tutoring in Writing. The contributors come from a wide variety of background, from Western Kentucky University to Villanova. But they all do what we do and offer some great insights and ideas. I especially liked “Investing Tutors in the Future of Writing Center Theory and Practice.”

http://www.jccc.edu/home/download.php/19948/WritingCenterJournal.pdf

This is a writing center journal by Johnson County Community College titled “IN THE POCKETS OF YESTERDAY’S PANTS: Theory, practice, theory.” It has some great pieces including “Patchwriters” which deals with recognizing and deterring plagiarism, as well as “On the Road to Being Less Critical” and “The Role of the Peer Writing Tutor.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRc2_U4xJeU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXK8Z79NOBk&feature=related

These are two short YouTube clips titled If Writing Center Myths Were True and Get Thee to the Writing Center! They are not so much educational as just plain funny.

Tutor Resources

2011-02-11T15:01:00.002-05:00

I think the Writing Center should offer some sort of certification that can be earned over the years of service. Below are two links that seem reliable and would offer some useful start-up tips in order to gain certification. I think the goal of becoming certified would help some tutors stay motivated and engaged in the tutoring process.

http://www.crla.net/itpc/certification_requirements.htm

http://www.hau.gr/?i=learning.en.tutor-training-program

“Training for Tough Tutorials” looks like a good resource. It offers quick links to the tutor who knows what kind of tutee/paper she is dealing with. (e. g. “reluctant revisor,” “offensive paper,” “I don’t get it!”)

http://writing2.richmond.edu/training/tough/index.html

Some light reading for future tutors.

A writing-center director explains how the concept of "self-efficacy" helps define successful strategies and objectives for both writing consultants and student writers. Tutors can read more in depth components to help them structure sessions to build self-efficacy such as : success through effort, modeling, persuasion and encouragement, and reducing anxiety.

“Mapping the Meaning of ‘Help’: Tutor Training and the Sense of Self-Efficacy”
http://projects.uwc.utexas.edu/praxis/?q=node/336

By observing fellow tutors’ consultations, writing center tutors improve their abilities to evaluate their own practices when working with students. This article gives an example of a good questionnaire and how to reflect after observing an experienced tutor and also reflecting after being observed.

“Watch and Learn: Peer Evaluation and Tutoring Pedagogy”
http://projects.uwc.utexas.edu/praxis/?q=node/340

This is a training video that would be shown during tutor training. There are quite a few chapters to this Bepko tutor training that you can easily find while viewing one video on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD7GjfF4CrY

2011-02-11T14:15:00.005-05:00

Here are a few resources that may lend a hand to new writing tutors:

1. Wow! The following is a great resource for both experienced and novice tutors. It includes videos with scenario notes. On the left are various profiles; each depicts a typical "tough tutorial." The resource is from the University of Richmond.

http://writing2.richmond.edu/training/tough/index.html

2. From The Writing Center at Winona State University, this brief chapter from A Guide for Writing Center Tutors is entitled "Self Reflective Tutoring: Practices and Concerns." It includes information regarding conferencing with students and assessing one's tutoring. It also provides a model tutoring session, as well as "some variations on the model."
http://www.winona.edu/writingcenter/05/Guide/guide2.htm

3. This resource comes from Oakland University Writing Department. The series includes videos that depict realistic peer tutoring scenarios. Some of the topics that I browsed include students with disabilities, "texting" tutees, plagiarism, "irate" tutees, tutees who are English language learners, and one entitled "No, You Can't Drop Off Your Paper!" They're somewhat humorous, but also provide insight into tutoring.

These videos may all be found by going to www.youtube.com and typing in "Oakland University Writing Center Video Scenario."

HAPPY TUTORING! :)

Planting a Thinking Seed For Our Literary Mag...

2011-01-25T12:30:00.002-05:00

I wanted to jot down a few preliminary thoughts and concerns about our literary magazine. I think this project has so much potential! I'm excited about taking all of our fresh ideas and weaving them into a cohesive unit that makes a great impression on our readers and allows our writers' voices to be heard. This task brings us great privilege and responsibility.

Along with this excitement, some challenges await us as well. Since our literary magazine is a new endeavor, I believe the largest challenge our team faces is lack of experience with a project of this type. Because this is our first installment, we will need to ensure that it is a success so that a possibility for future additions of the magazine exist. I know that we want to produce a literary magazine that is significant; one that truly speaks. With this in mind, I'm planning on conducting some research on the methods and products of other literary magazines to see what kinds of ideas and strategies we can glean (or not glean) from them.

Please water this seed with your own thoughts and concerns...

Winter Snow and Bdays

2011-01-22T10:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Matt!!!

2011-01-21T14:19:00.004-05:00

Agendas... I've never really been one to set an agenda. Maybe they left a bad taste in my mouth after I was scolded by an adviser due to lack of an agenda for a meeting (even though it was totally informal and covered about 3 topics). Overall, I've never seen a point of an agenda in an informal setting. I can understand if the topics are broad and plentiful, having an outline to guide the meeting, but I don't think it would be useful for me in a tutoring session. I also am a firm believer in Murphy's Law, and that anything that could go wrong would go wrong given that I had planned out the session. I have problems with micromanaging situations, and I don't want the focus to be on what I believe is important in a tutoring session-- having an agenda would predispose what would, or according to what I said previously, would not happen. So, to put it simply, they just really aren't for me.

Wrong turns and traffic jams....of being a tutor

2011-01-21T14:17:00.003-05:00

I love to make an agenda for everything I do in life, that is just the way my mind is comfortable. I not only make a list of what I need from the store, I make a list of what stores I need to go to and in what order. So I felt having an agenda for my tutoring session was important, almost needed, for me to be successful. I discovered in a short time that my set agenda needed to be tossed.

I can appreciate what William Macauley says in his paper "Setting the Agenda for the Next Thirty Minutes", "I like to think of this plan like planning a trip with a road map". I can appreciate more his line "Anyone who has ever driven on an expressway knows that having a map is no guarantee against wrong turns and traffic jams". There are so many wrong turns and traffic jams that come with the program, they just cannot be avoided. I have discovered the best way for me to deal with this is to leave my agenda with open ends and set it around my needs instead of the writer (what do they need from me, what does their instructer want, how can I help). It is always good to have a plan....brainstorm, pick an idea, write a thesis statement....but you can never know what may be asked of you or what may come up. So my agenda now is set for me. An agenda for what I need to do. After that I listen to the writer and help them direct the flow.

Setting the agenda

2011-01-21T14:16:00.002-05:00

I am easily distracted. I can get lost in the beauty of pretty words just as easily as I can get lost in the chaos of a disorganized paragraph. Setting an agenda at the beginning of a tutoring session has helped me work with the tutees who come to the writing center. Having a clear set of goals or tasks to achieve in the session helps me to stay focused on the job at hand. Regardless of the work that I see that I might want to work on, it is important to keep in mind that the session does not belong to me, it belongs to the tutee who has come for my help. I am here to help him or her achieve the goals that he or she has set.

William Macauley Jr. compared setting the agenda to following a road map."I like to think of this plan like planning a trip with a road map. A road map is open ended in that it shows you many possible routes to travel, but the specific course you choose on the map never lets you forget that you're on a purposeful journey to your destination. Charting the course for a tutorial session is also a way to mark, simply and graphically, the things you wnat to do in the tutoring session." Each student who comes to the writing center has a form to record their specific goals for the tutoring session. This is our roadmap. I am sometimes unsure of the propriety of offering advice that does not apply to the specific goals on the form. Will I offend my tutee if I offer additional feedback? What about students who come in, unsure of what help they need? What about the students who simply want me to edit, and "fix" their work? As a teacher, who is accustomed to reaching for the red pen, it has been an adjustment, going from paper grader to writing tutor.

2011-01-06T16:52:00.002-05:00

(Grrr...It took me 30 minutes to get logged on...shows how often I blog.)

Done with school --for now.
Want to buy a house, but how?
Can't pay the rent,
Car's covered in dents,
This wallet just won't allow.

So much time on my hands,
What happened to all of these plans?
Creative juices?
All I have are excuses,
But life is pretty grand.

I hope you enjoyed this horrible limerick!

(Did I mention that I hate blogging...it makes me feel like I'm being vain.)

My Road

2011-01-05T10:33:00.004-05:00

My grandma and grandpa gave me a card for graduation, and my grandma wrote something along the lines of this: You are not where you have been. You are not yet where you are going. You are well on your way.

Well, I have been on this seemingly never-ending road to “somewhere” for a damn long time! It has been a trip and not always a bad one. But I am tired of this road. I feel like I am in a pothole. Isn’t it time I find my final destination? Do I need a new road? Perhaps I should veer sharply off the road, hit the rumble strips and hope for something to happen.

My Road

Long and dusty,
pothole-ridden,
roadkill-littered
no edge lines…
continually under construction.

Blah. blog. blah. blogged out (although I have not blogged in ages) and bogged down. Does that make sense to anyone? I feel like yuck. I feel stuck in the land of limbo. Stuck between past and future, and not feeling very present.

Happy Holidays 2010

2010-11-18T12:07:00.000-05:00

Aiya--not much for blogging this quarter! We've been swamped and busy with other projects too:

http://galleryofwriting.org/galleries/2374953

Everyone: enjoy 6 weeks of winter break while you can--soon, OU will switch over to semesters.
Those who will be here in 2012 will still have 5 long, long weeks left to write and tutor before a break.

What book to you plan to read over break?

Free Time, Time to Be Free

2010-10-29T12:34:00.000-04:00

Hello, OU-C Tutors!

It's amazing how the Thank-Gods-It's-Friday motto takes on so much more meaning when one is a full-time employee. It didn't mean much to me during my years as a student because, well, you never have a day off as a student. But in the "real world" of employment, I am able to clock out, walk out the door, get in my car, drive the blessedly short distance to my apartment, and be safe in the fact that none of my work has followed me home.

Unfortunately, I feel like I have less "free time" than I did as a student. I suppose it's because a student's hours are so blurred around the edges. "I have a paper due at 6, but I can run to the post office at 1:30 and then pick up some milk from the grocery store before coming straight home again to work on my paper." So yes, while there was always an assignment hanging perpetually over my head, I could take a break to do what needed done.

Not so with full-time employment. Ever notice how work hours also seem to be the hours that the rest of the world operates? When can I make a car appointment? When can I go to the post office? Thank goodness Kroger at least is open 24 hours. I do very much appreciate being employed, especially in the economy of the world at this time, but boy, I sure do miss "student hours."

Perhaps I need to buckle down and take fuller advantage of what free time I do have. With 8-10 hours of work per day, plus 8 hours of sleep, that leaves me, what, about 6 hours? Don't ask me—I was never a math tutor. (Derivative. Doo doo doo-doo doo.) Even as I type this, though, I'm a bit amazed that I have that much time, and rather ashamed that I'm not making better use of it.

In at attempt to fix this, I have a few goals for myself.

- aikido—make it to aikido every Friday (I've missed a few Fridays, but in general I have been doing pretty well at driving back to Chillicothe for my class, especially since it coincides with my weekend visit home)

- jujitsu—well, I'd hoped to have the stamina to drive back to Chillicothe every Tuesday evening, get my butt kicked in jujitsu, then either drive back home right away or sleep at mom's and wake up veeery early to return to Springboro for work Wednesday morning. Alas, I have not yet made it to one jujitsu class. Perhaps in my months' absence from the class, I've grown a little afraid of it? A definite possibility. I'm an overweight 31-year-old woman, the [i]only[/i] woman in the class (other than sensei), and I want to pay money for people to throw me around, knock me to the ground, pin me down, and fight me tooth and nail as I try to do the same to them? Yes... it is a little intimidating. But it is also damn fun. I do miss it... and perhaps realizing this, I should try harder to go at least every other week while the weather cooperates with a 2-hour drive. We shall see.

- judo—I've been unable to find a local jujitsu class (I might have to look in surrounding areas—surely there are some to be found in Dayton, but I was hoping to find one in Franklin or Springboro), but I [i]have[/i] found a local judo class, which bears a lot of similarity with jujitsu (judo focuses more on throws, jujitsu focuses more on the groundwork, but both will leave me limping the next day). So to help my emotional and physical health (I always feel so much happier when I'm involved in a regular physical event), I am going to start taking judo lessons from a dojo less than 4 miles from my apartment. I'm both scared and happy :)

- cello—yes, you heard it! I have long been in love with the cello, but I was never able to find lessons in Chillicothe. Ok, so I didn't really look all that hard, but while living in Chillicothe, I didn't have the money to spare for cello lessons, either. I found some private cello lessons in Springboro. Only about $17/week for 30 minutes. I don't mind parting with $68/month if it is for something that I have wanted to do for literally the past 13 years.

All of the above require money—though thankfully, not much of it (I am still on a VERY tight budget as I try to pay some debts off!)—and my leaving the comfort of my apartment to go to a studio or dojo to work with strangers. But what about things to do at home?

- write—I need to write at least a page per night. Progress won't come unless I make it come.

- art—whether drawing, painting, or photography, I need to get back into this. This will also be relieved by my cello lessons and with my martial art classes, but the part of me that wants to create pictures has been ignored for far too long.

- Netflix—damn straight. I love me some Netflix. I don't have cable, but I've been working through some of the television series I've wanted to see. (Those unaccounted-for 6 hours per day? Yeah, well, a lot of them go to Netflix... but that's too much. I was never a long-term t.v. watcher, so I fear falling into that habit if I don't stop it now.)

What was the point of this post? Who knows. Do I ever have a point? ;) I suppose I wanted to give you guys a look into my post-OUC life (it does exist!) and perhaps I wanted to encourage you to budget your time as well. Don't let life pass you by unexplored. As a student, you probably don't have time/money to do all you want now—but do the things you can do for now, and plan on doing the rest for later. Just make sure you DO do them later! (I've been putting off the cello for years, but I registered today for my first private lesson!)

It's never too late to start anew. It's never naive to explore the world with open eyes. And it's never a bad time to say hello to one's former co-workers. Best of luck to you in your studies and future explorations!

And now you're not sure, whether it's coming or just going.

2010-10-22T18:36:00.007-04:00

^^ "Plurals" 9/18/2010 ^^

It's a funny thing to just have one day that lasts for months. I've found that sleep and the sense of order that it gives life is something too many take for granted. Rest is like the dead space between images on a roll of film; it gives each frame (or day in this case) a clear context.

After a few months of work/classes/homework/eating/bodily caretaking 20-22 hours a day, you stop being tired all the time. The strange mobius strip feeling continues to roll on through the hours/minutes/moments.

Strangest of all, I've discovered that by micromanaging the number of minutes I can spare for a shower or bowl of soup so as to squeeze in an extra few ounces of sleep, I have more time than I can ever remember. Interesting revelations. Now that I am more saddled with responsibility and schedules than ever before, I am forced to plan so efficiently that I accomplish several times the workload I ever could when faced with large swathes of non-earmarked hours. Things get done like clockwork, and a lot of the stress of last minute rushing has been eliminated simply because my last minute may be a three days prior and I am acutely aware of it.

Even my job has turned out to have unforeseen benefits. You would assume that 6-8 hours 6 nights a week in a factory setting would quickly suck the life from a body when combined with the other complexities of my schedule. Luckily, my work has turned out to be such an automatic experience, my mind is generally free to wander. I construct vivid mental solutions to assignments from the Art Academy–leaving only the fabrication for a later time. I stir precisely drawn melodies internally as I find the words to carve out the details of those melodies character, needing only a paper scrap from a trash bin to serve as a storage device. I was even able to sketch out an entire suite of engagement images for a friend of mine while sorting magazines. It seems the more preoccupied my body, the freer my mind.

Weird.

New Music: www.purevolume.com/halogenlightbulb
New Images: www.halogenphotos.com

PS. Best time of year to be in Chillicothe, enjoy it for me.

prompt writing: tutoring and the magic therein

2010-09-10T16:19:00.000-04:00

Being a tutor myself, the idea of analogizing the tutorial arts with the more esoteric practices of "magic" seems a little absurd. That said, I suppose such a comparison might make a little more sense from the point of view of a freshman experiencing first-paper trepidation. In the eyes of such a student, the tutor holds the keys to the deeper mysteries of written rhetoric, or at least knows all of the cheap parlor tricks one needs to dazzle and divert his or her professors, depending upon the level of skepticism in said student; in short, the tutor may be an Aleister Crowley (sans the scandal, one hopes) or a mere Siegfriend-and-Roy.

The Sense of Wonder

2010-09-10T16:07:00.002-04:00

Magic has been a form of entertainment for centuries. The Art has been used among hundreds of civilizations for religious, spiritual, academic, and even healing purposes from the Egyptians to the Romans. Today, magic is a popular form of entertainment in the West that many people come across their television screens or possibly in their living room as Uncle Butch shows off the latest card trick he taught himself.
Card magic is a beautiful art form which has been described countless of times by magicians as being the "poetry of conjuring." What makes card magic so impressive and mystifying is that the cunning performer may at any moment manipulate fifty-two, cut-out pasteboards and create a sense of magic, mystery and wonder at his finger tips. However, this brings up an excellent question—which the London Card Expert, Michael Vincent asks his audience—which I now propose to all of you: where exactly does the magic come from? The magician’s hands? His or her performance? Or rather, does magic come from what the audience experiences?
As a conjurer, I would argue that magic comes from the latter. After all, magic is not about what we see; it’s what we think we see. The art is not about “tricking” something or someone but rather using the trick to make someone feel something. That’s the magic; that’s the wonder.
Tutoring has many similar elements. The most important element is interaction. One must interact with their audience with casualness, respect, and even humor. A great magician once noted that if you want to know if you’re a good performer, after four tricks or so, set the deck aside and see if you can spend the next twenty minutes simply talking with your audience (without any magic at all!). If you are successful, no magic is needed because it is already being experienced as the audience is enjoying your company as is. Therefore, when tutoring, one has to build a relationship with the tutee on a certain level where all of the mechanical/grammatical ‘things’ are forgotten and even pass by unnoticed. Just as when the card shark entertains—in its truest form—the sleights and misdirection employed goes unnoticed; thus allowing the miracle to occur.
Try it out, and see how long the tutoring session lasts.
-KJ

Magical Tutoring

2010-09-10T15:56:00.004-04:00

As contradictory as this may sound, tutoring is a lot like magic in many ways. Both tutoring and magic can be described as an art form that provides a certain sense of need for its audience. Magic is sought after for its entertainment purposes. It is aimed to create “oohs” and “awes”. Most importantly, magic leaves and brings in audiences for the purpose of “how do they do this or that” and to gain the knowledge of a topic they are not familiar with. When tutoring, the same aspects apply. Tutoring brings in the type of audiences that want to know how to “do this or that”; as well as, to gain knowledge.

Magic/Tutoring?

2010-09-10T15:55:00.005-04:00

Tutoring is like magic because:

To make magic you need an audience.
You're always working with a full deck.
It takes lots of practice to be great at it.
It's not just the tricks in your hat, it's the act that goes with it.
Sometimes you feel like sawing someone in half.
Sometimes the magic you have up your sleeve just doesn't work.
Some adience members refuse to be amazed.
You might get your head bitten off by a vicious mammal.

Tutoring is Magical??????

2010-09-10T15:55:00.004-04:00

If I had a magic wand...tutoring would be easier.

If I had an ace up my sleeve...I would have an answer for everything.

If I had a rabbit in my hat...everyone would leave with an "A" paper.

If I had the ability to make someone disappear...it would be hard to choose: me or the tutee.

If I had a handsome assistant that only wore a glittery vest and bow tie...I would stop tutoring.

Tutoring and magic often make me want to be somewhere else...

LAS VEGAS.

Introducing Fall 2010

2010-09-08T19:03:00.000-04:00

Welcome back! We seem to have a lot of students on campus this year and I'm happy to report that the Learning Center has seen at least six request for tutoring on the first two days. Incredible.

As an instructor myself, I see this as a very good indication that students are eager to learn and excel this quarter.

Hope all tutors have a great quarter ahead and will see you this Friday!

Awaiting Fall 2010

2010-08-02T11:29:00.001-04:00

Now that we have hit August, it's time to begin full preparations for Fall 2010.

We will have six fabulous tutors returning:
Sarah
Jenelle
Matt
Anita
Kyle
and
Jessica!
These tutors are committed to excellence and will participate in the annual Fall Training and Orientation seminar to be held on Friday, August 13th, 10 am-4 pm.

The Writing Center will also conduct open interviews for tutoring this Fall. If you are interested in tutoring writing, be sure to stop in the LC, pick up an application, and schedule an appointment with Debra Nickles.

If you are not on campus any time soon, but you are still interested in seeing if you meet the requirements, contact Debra Nickles at nickles@ohio.edu for more information.

Ice Cream Social

2010-06-10T12:02:00.000-04:00

If you are a reader of this blog
and you see this post in time,
do join us for our

2nd Annual Ice Cream Social
in the Learning Center from 3-5 PM today.

It's time to celebrate another successful year
and to bid a few tutors farewell
as they begin new journeys in their careers!

Poem In Your Pocket Pics

2010-06-09T10:00:00.002-04:00

Hi, peeps!

Sorry it took me so long to get these posted--I had another photography project to work on before this one.

Here are some of them; the rest will be coming up soon.

YAWP!

2010-06-02T13:48:00.002-04:00

Let us all leave this quarter with a barbaric yawp! One more quarter to go for me! The end of one chapter is near. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I just read a tutee's paper that was a reflection piece. She had a quote from Carl Jung: "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves." This is going to be my new motto. YAWP!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!

2010-05-03T17:27:00.001-04:00

Sarah! We're all idiots and forgot to wish you a happy birthday! We were so caught up in the Poem-In-A-Pocket craziness... gah!

So from the writing tutors:

*in an obnoxious, off-key chorus*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR SARAH...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Recessional

2010-04-27T18:37:00.004-04:00

Here is poem by Rudyard Kipling, one of only two poets that I really enjoy.

http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_recess.htm

a personal favorite

2010-04-27T17:26:00.002-04:00

My knowledge of poetry is embarrassingly limited (more so for someone who does an occasional scribbling himself). I discovered Pinsky during my stagnant years, at a time when my analytical mind was still too underdeveloped to recognize a difference between style and contrivance, just sharp enough to have good taste regardless. I still enjoy this one.

Robert Pinsky - The Green Piano

Risky Poetry

2010-04-21T22:05:00.000-04:00

D*mn psychoanalysis for making poetry so risky to share, lol! Perhaps (and, oh, the irony of even that word!) my favorite poem is an old old old classic linked here.

I hope each of you continue to dare. Dare to sing to the mermaids . . . to disturb the universe . . .

Poetry by Don Paterson

2010-04-21T21:12:00.004-04:00

Thanks to all that posted and will post. I think this has been a successful project thus far. Poetry. Poems. Oh, how I fret. I have written quite a few, yet I do not feel like sharing. I am not quite that daring. I think there is a poet in all of us...somewhere.

This is a sonnet about poetry.

Poetry

In the same way that the mindless diamond keeps
one spark of the planet's early fires
trapped forever in its net of ice,
it's not love's later heat that poetry holds,
but the atom of the love that drew it forth
from the silence: so if the bright coal of his love
begins to smolder, the poet hears his voice
suddenly forced, like a bar-room singer's -- boastful
with his own huge feeling, or drowned by violins;
but if it yields a steadier light, he knows
the pure verse, when it finally comes, will sound
like a mountain spring, anonymous and serene.

Beneath the blue oblivious sky, the water
sings of nothing, not your name, not mine.

Copyright 1999 by Don Paterson. All rights reserved.

Poetry = ?

2010-04-21T09:02:00.005-04:00

Merriam-Webster has this to say:

"Poetry-a literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm"

With this in mind, I have decided to post the song I am most proud of writing.

It can be heard here

Synapse Fire

Emotion.
He loads his shells into his gun.
He loads his words for everyone
with unappreciated artistry.
Audience.
He looks out at upholstered crowds,
and figures that loitering doubt
tastes good with vacancy.
Discouraged.
There’s no substance to his minor chords,
and all his lyrics can afford
are drunks and apathetic friends; distant relatives.

But still he sketches out his soul in scribbles,
convinced the best mirrors are college ruled.
Synapse fire aimed at legal notepads,
Ammunition built from vocabulary.
Oh, how they’d carry the casualties
out of the range of the microphone;
over the radio.

‘Cause he’s heard the radio has a personality
and he says “I could dream bigger with that kind of reach.
Oh, I’d fill 800 square miles of corn and kidney beans,
and if no one’s listening,
at least I won’t be staring at these empty seats.”

One of my favorite poems...

2010-04-20T01:21:00.002-04:00

This is one of my favorite poems which has stuck with me over the years. I love Tennyson's poems and this particular masterpiece of his has an appealling and intriguing metaphor which I think, at some point in our lives, we may all experience. It's an experience of emotion, life, wisdom, and an unyielding drive to a new uncharted horizon which awaits us all.

Enjoy,

-Kyle

Click on the link below to read the poem:

http://www.eecs.harvard.edu/~keith/poems/Ulysses.html

2010-04-19T23:57:00.002-04:00

Hello! My name is Jessica. When I found out about this blog posting, I became very excited to see the results of what others would post. The reason for my excitement is due to the fact that I just recently got involved in the world of poetry. Up until a few quarters ago, I tended to stray away from reading or writing poetry. I think one of the reasons for my distance of poetry was because I didn't fully understand it. Like most children, I grew up reading Shel Silverstein and loving every silly poem of his that I could get my hands on. As I grew older, however, poetry didn't seem to entice me anymore. The older I got the more I was led to believe that poetry had to be overly analyzed in order to understand it. After taking a poetry class offered at OU-C, I came to find that this is a common conclusion for many students. We are taught to look at poetry in such depth that the word "poem" sometimes scares us. The act of solely reading a poem for enjoyment can be pushed to the back burner at times. Fortunately, I also learned from this class how to view poetry in a non-threatening way. Poetry has many aspects to it. Poetry can be humorous and silly or sincere and emotional. It is meant to be pleasing to the reader. Thanks to that class and the instructor, I now see poetry in a brand new light. I actually find satisfaction in not only reading poems but writing them too. A year ago I would have never dreamt of saying these words let alone reading poems on my own free will.
Now, I am not a seasoned poet by any means. I am an amateur in every way. Even though this is the case for me, I am going to share a poem I wrote. It was the first poem that I had ever written outside of middle school. While I am nervous about posting something personal, I am also excited. Since I am new to the Writing Center, I selected this poem to give insight into who I am. I thought this poem would be a great way to introduce myself.
I suggest other students give this type of personal poetry, maybe even this exact format, a try. Believe me it really is interesting and fun to see what you come up with. It is also a simple, yet wonderful, way to test the waters of your poetry skills (for amateurs like me) ; ). Here it is-- enjoy!

Origins
I am from hand-me-down clothes,
Reebok shoes and line-drying.
I am from shutters trimmed in green paint,
A wooden porch swing stained and hanging
Always in use during the spring and summer months.

I am from weeping willow trees
And patches of daisies,
Both reminders of the internal
And external splendor of my mother.

I am from hunts for the perfect live Christmas tree,
Hiking trails and camping trips.
I am from McKinnis' and Henson's,
Margaret and Mabel,
Loving, thoughtful, and from the heart.

I am from fairytales and bedtime stories,
Nightly tuck-ins and "don't let the bedbugs bite".
I am from family get-togethers--
Cousins, aunts and uncles included.

I am from "never met a stranger"
And "use your imagination".
I am from saying your prayers before you eat;
"God doesn't judge and neither should you";
"Love thy neighbor even when you don't want to".

I am from tea parties with my mom,
"Would you like crumpets with that?"
Concerts with my dad,
Occasional meet-n-greets with the bands.

I am from Columbus, Ohio,
A mixed breed--
German, Cherokee Indian, Dutch, and Irish.
I am from Bratwurst and Sauerkraut,
Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

I am from Sunday dinners,
Tuesday family game nights.
I am from scrapbooks of pictures
Beautifully displayed for all to see.

I am from unconditional love
And eternal family bonds.
I am from those moments--
A patch from the family quilt,
Held together by stitches of memories,
Another added every day.

Slam Poetry!

2010-04-17T01:43:00.003-04:00

Thank you, Deb! I didn't even think about posting slam poetry, but your post reminded me of it. I absolutely love slam poetry. Go to YouTube and do a search for it... there are thousands to choose from. I'm posting links to two of my favorites. I apologize ahead of time for some (possibly) offensive language.

Untitled by Anis Mojgani (this performance won him the 2005 Slam Nationals)
"Nothing is for Nothing" by Jill Scott (on Def Jam Poetry)

Let me know what you think!

Life's Tragedy

2010-04-16T16:50:00.002-04:00

Please click here to read this beautifully written inspirational Poem.

Sanity

2010-04-13T17:25:00.002-04:00

Falling off a cliff
screaming, the abyss calls you
failing to awake

I like haiku, it calls to me.

Political Poetry

2010-04-13T13:34:00.000-04:00

Not my favorite, but I gotta share:

Patricia Smith

Read, but be sure to scroll to the bottom and check out her "Skinhead."

Last night, on the flood wall, east end, I noted "KKK" marked in black letters sprayed on the asphalt and folks just jogging past . . .

One of my favorite poems

2010-04-12T13:52:00.003-04:00

Several years ago, a very good friend of mine introduced me to a poem that has taken time to become one of my favorites. When I first read this poem I was not impressed. The horses, the seemingly corny language, the presumption of the author that he knows how animals feel... I just didn't like it. But the last three lines of the poem are heart-wrenchingly perfect, and I eventually came around to the rest of the poem. It has grown on me over the years, and I've learned to look past the overt subject matter, which is the primary reason that I initially didn't identify with the poem, and think of it in terms of experience. The few times in my life in which I have had experiences that give me that free floating, soaking-it-all-in feeling have been hard to describe and even harder to re-create. Wright describes his experience in a way that inspires me to keep trying to describe mine.

A Blessing
by James Wright

Just off the highway to Rochester, Minnesota,
Twilight bounds softly forth on the grass.
And the eyes of those two Indian ponies
Darken with kindness.
They have come gladly out of the willows
To welcome my friend and me.
We step over the barbed wire into the pasture
Where they have been grazing all day, alone.
They ripple tensely, they can hardly contain their happiness
That we have come.
They bow shyly as wet swans. They love each other.
There is no loneliness like theirs.
At home once more,
They begin munching the young tufts of spring in the darkness.
I would like to hold the slenderer one in my arms,
For she has walked over to me
And nuzzled my left hand.
She is black and white,
Her mane falls wild on her forehead,
And the light breeze moves me to caress her long ear
That is delicate as the skin over a girl’s wrist.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom.

A blog about blogging

2010-04-08T16:14:00.002-04:00

I found a great website! It's a random blog topic generator. You pick the category and click a button, and it generates a topic for you. The category options are: All, Opinion, Health, Religion, Science, Art, World, Music, Business, Personal, Technology, People, and Recreation. I chose to leave it on "all." Here are the first 5 blog topics that I received:

Math or English?
Getting your first job
History of football
Altering photo colors in photoshop
Using public restrooms

While the last one is tempting, I think the topic would quickly go down the toilet. Pardon the pun. So, I will talk about the first one, which is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

I am (or was, I guess I should say) an English major. For me, reading is abundantly more entertaining and enjoyable than watching TV. Alternately, math makes me feel like I am drowning. I sit and listen, focusing intently, and yet I inevitably reach the point at which everything being said loses all meaning. So I took the required math classes, one of which I would have most certainly failed if not for the professor's generous curve, and shouted with joy the day that I realized that I would never have to worry about a math grade again (the GRE wasn't on my radar back then). And I continued on my merry English way.

People that love math actually confound me. I am glad there are people out there who actually enjoy it, but I cannot even begin to comprehend that frame of mind. My brother-in-law has been out of school for about 10 years, but he sits and does calculus at home for fun. Insane!!!

So, if I haven't made myself clear, let me reiterate: I love English, but math is the devil.

(Good thing none of the math tutors read this blog...)

Hold on while I try to think of a title...

2010-04-07T12:29:00.002-04:00

Hello :) Hmm... I really don't know what to write about, but I feel bad that I haven't blogged for a few weeks. I just had to put on my hoodie, not because I'm cold but because I'm a bit self-conscious about my bruises from ju-jitsu class. I re-bruised a bruise from last week that was fading to yellow-green, but now it's a lovely mauve color with a background of yellow-green. I have a doozy forming on my elbow; it's deep purple and hasn't fully formed yet, so it's deep. Once it comes to the surface, it'll either be dark or big... or both. While grappling in ju-jitsu, we're supposed to grab each other's gis for take-downs or throws, but occasionally we accidently grab sleeve and skin rather than fabric alone. I think that's what happened to me last night. Oh well. Injuries of all kinds come with the territory.

I've gained a few pounds this past week thanks to Easter over-indulgence. Ugh. Hate it. I was doing well with at least maintaining my current weight if not losing, but with the gain I am now shifting my focus back to losing. Adding karate to my weekly martial art classes might help, too. And bike riding. I've really been wanting to get back into bike riding.

Four more weeks of grad school. I'm sort of overwhelmed with stuff that needs done, especially since a healthy case of senioritis has set in. My motivation waxes and wanes. I want to be done, but in order to be done, I have to do stuff. I don't wanna do stuff. I want to ride my bike, and read what I want, and take walks, and draw, and garden.

The finish line is in sight... but I am questioning the reserves of strength that will get me there.

What happened to the blog jar?

2010-04-06T14:19:00.002-04:00

As I was pondering topics for my mandatory blog, I noticed that the blog jar was missing! This makes brainstorming ideas for my blog a bit more difficult!

My only source of inspiration right now is the honest sky, the toasty sun, and the sweet breeze that is all around. This breathtaking weather is certainly boosting my psyche after a long episode of the winter blahs! The last thing I want to do is to sit in an OULN cave (no windows) for my Linguistics class. Sadly, this is where I'll be at 3:10--at least physically. Mentally I'll be lying in a hammock half asleep with sunglasses on and a copy of a book of MY choice. It's been so long since I've read one of those that I don't even know what the book would be...but it would be something...good.

This time of the year, being so inspiring, would be a wonderful time to write, paint, or do any of the other activities I never have time to do anymore. I'm not complaining though! Every second I get the chance to I've been spending outside in the sun reading for my classes!

I love the 80s--and not just the decade--the temperatures too! :)

A Publishing Friend

2010-04-05T17:27:00.000-04:00

A publishing friend of mine will be doing some serious work for Writer's Digest, which is writer's community focused on getting people published: Check it Out.

The Writing Center website

2010-03-30T09:53:00.002-04:00

I think Caleb has done an outstanding job! The only thing that is missing is Deb's picture next to her bio! hmmm.

Spring quarter and Spring thus far...

2010-03-30T09:41:00.002-04:00

It has been ok. I am enjoying my lighter than usual course load of only three classes! This will give me time to take Cameron to baseball practices and games and continue on HIS goal of fishing almost every other day! I am keeping track of the places we have fished and the amount of time we stay. After only two weeks, I have logged over 30 hours of fishing time! Yowza! Perhaps I should stop logging my time??

Over Spring Break I read Cion by Zakes Mda. He is a professor at OU-Athens. It was interesting and overall a good story. It only took me two or three fishing sessions to read it! That is a monumental step in my, almost nonexistent, "pleasure" reading escapades.

Hope all who read this had a relaxing Spring Break. Everyone deserves a break.

(post 1 of 2 for the quarter)...yeah baby.

Haitian Culture

2010-03-08T17:25:00.001-05:00

Artwork, native fruits, banana bark basket, textiles and Haitian money. Take a glimpse into Haiti.

Anita & Matt

My Favorite Toy...

2010-02-28T16:25:00.000-05:00

(I would have responded to this days and days ago but I couldn't figure out what my password was!)

Like Julie, I was also poor when I was little, but also blissfully unaware. My favorite toy when I was a child was my imagination.

While anything related to horses enamoured me, and anything small with wheels was fun to roll around, what fascinated me more was that those little toy horses were an intricate family and had herd issues as they galloped over the plains of the kitchen floor. My little Garfield in a jeep (one of the best McDonald's toys EVAR!), with its reliable 4x4 system, could easily tackle the rocks, hills, and valleys created by the blankets on my bed.

I also spent a lot of time outside. Though I can appreciate the convenience of living in a city, I have always been a country girl--and one of my favorite cartoons was David the Gnome. Oh, how I loved going out into the forest--or even simply into our front yard!--to climb trees, "talk" to animals and nature, and explore all the great world has to offer (or at least "all" that a small, shy girl can get to).

I am 30 now, and my imagination is still my favorite toy. I write and create art. I imagine ways to decorate my living space. And on some days, I still find shapes in the clouds and hear the trees whispering to me.

My favorite toy...

2010-02-27T11:41:00.002-05:00

I loved my legos. I would spend hours just quietly building, tearing apart, and rebuilding, even up into my early teen years. Legos are the perfect toy for an overly imaginative child.

Favorite Toy

2010-02-25T22:25:00.003-05:00

We were kind of poor when I was little… government cheese, shopping at thrift stores for new school clothes, health department doctors and dentists… the whole bit. Fortunately, I was a very happy child, blissfully unaware of what we didn’t have. I remember Christmas mornings very clearly. We were fortunate enough to get actual presents, but stockings were a different story. Our stockings were actually Dad’s old tube socks that Santa would fill with apples, oranges, rolls of pennies, packs of Wrigley’s gum, and various other cheap gifts, and I can still remember the joy of turning that sock upside down and feeling the contents slide out against the cloth underneath my hand, and being inordinately happy to have, all to myself, those things that were usually kept in the kitchen and shared.

So, obviously, you won’t expect me to say that my favorite toy was my pricey princess power wheels car (how's that for alliteration?) or my shiny blue huffy bike with streamers or my red ryder bb gun. In fact, I actually don’t remember getting any one toy that I was just nuts about. The thing that stands out most in my mind is being in third grade and getting a wonderfully, beautifully, inspirationally blank hardback book. It was all white. White cover, white binding, white pages with no restrictive lines. I was thrilled beyond belief. The options were almost crippling. I fantasized for months about what to do with this book. Journal?—too risky. Sketchbook?—too informal. Book?—perfect, of course. So I agonized for a few more months about what to write, until I finally decided that I would just set the book aside and save for a really (really) great idea.

I eventually did write a children’s book and had a friend of mine illustrate it for me. It was a lovely process. But I think I had that blank book for several years before actually taking action. I’m sure there’s potential there for some meaningful life metaphor… something about indecision or potential or something. But I’ll keep my theories to myself and leave some room for your own psychoanalysis.

What I do know is that there is still nothing quite as satisfying as a fresh, blank notebook, a smooth ball point pen, and a mind swirling with ideas.

My favorite toy was..

2010-02-25T10:53:00.002-05:00

my lion. It really wasn't a toy but more of a security "blankie." Truthfully, I cannot remember a toy that I ever received that really excited me. Well, except my BOB, but that is another story entirely! It was the one stuffed animal that I protected with my life. My mother actually received this lion on my behalf during her baby shower. Yes, that means my lion is creeping up on 31 years of age!

My lion and I have been through many difficult times over the years. I would swing him by his tail like a helicopter, and during one of his "flights," he lost an eye--never to be found again. :( My sisters would make fun of my lion, saying that I was too old to have a stuffed animal. Little did I know that they each had their own! My eldest sister, Jen, still has her teddy bear (he is totally blind--lost both eyes). Her teddy is rounding the bend to 37 years of age!

Although Jen and I are closest out of all three of my sisters, she was the one that tormented me the most. Some time during elementary, I decided I no longer needed my lion. I got the kitchen scissors and proceeded to cut him up into pieces. I laid him down nicely on the top of the trash can and walked away. When my mom came home from work she became hysterical. I think my sister caught a beat-down that she deserved! hehehehe. (Side note: Our beat-downs came in the form of wooden spoons and/or the almighty fly swatter!)

Perhaps needless to say, my mother came to my lion's rescue and sewed him up. I was very happy to have him back, even if he had "stitches" of every color of the rainbow. He now resides in my sock drawer, scented by fabric softener sheets. I see him every morning, or at least the mornings I choose to put clean socks on! ha! My lion is so disfigured, my grandpa has called him a squirrel for many, many years. It used to make me very angry. Over the years, I have gained confidence in my self and the fact that I openly love my lion-squirrel.

My Favorite Toy as a Child

2010-02-23T14:28:00.000-05:00

One Christmas, 1978, perhaps, I received my first art studio--well, actually, a yellow-plastic Crayola turntable. This glorious artistic wheel held a tower of 64 crayons, 8 markers, 16 color pencils, 8 water colors, and 3 paint jars in primary colors. Paper not included. Paired with the Spirograph that year, the world was at my finger tips . . .

What was your favorite toy as a child?

Winner of the Fall Writing Contest

2010-01-12T14:33:00.001-05:00

The Writing Center is pleased to announce the winner of the 2010 Fall Writing Contest: Turning Points. Tracy Pederson, a current nursing student, won a first place gift card worth $75.00 to the OU-C Book Store with her submission "The Great Bear Hunt."

Congratulations, Tracy!

Of Snow and Studies

2010-01-07T15:37:00.004-05:00

I'm so glad that good ol' Jack Frost has blown in our direction! My evening class is canceled! Now I have all evening to snuggle under my electric blanket and finish the novel I'm reading for African American Literature, Alfred French's Billy. I'm approximately 1/3 of the way through it so far, and it's definitely a page-turner! (Which is good because there was an assignment due on the novel yesterday!) Like other African American literature I've read, I really enjoy the book's use of dialect, candid, unsentimental tone, and the way it stirs up emotions about true-to-life happenings! I'm looking forward to reading Toni Morrison this quarter as well.

Definitions

2010-01-05T16:07:00.002-05:00

I am currently enrolled in online Human Geography course. I was surprised when I realized all homework will consist of definitions. However, after looking things up in the handy-dandy glossary, I suppose it makes me concentrate on the key terms. Here is a new one that I thought some people may enjoy. It makes sense to me.

Deb, this is for you!

Ecofeminism: A new doctrine proposing that women are inherently better environmental preservationists than men because the traditional roles of women involved creating and nurturing life, whereas the traditional roles of men too often necessitated death and destruction.

....any thoughts....

2 blog entries, I'm on a roll...I think this is more than I typed all last quarter.

Winter break and other stuff

2010-01-05T15:28:00.004-05:00

First off, my break was nice; although, I was not ready to come back. I can officially say that I will be graduating this year! Woooohooo! After this quarter I will have three classes and student teaching. I am taking a couple courses in Lancaster this quarter. I like the teachers, but the snowy drive leaves a bit to be desired; good thing I got new tires the end of November.

Now for the funny story: yesterday evening I backed out of my garage PRIOR to opening the garage door. OOPS! The door is stuck. I have been housing a friend's old corvette and we had to push that out of the other garage bay and then do a lot of maneuvering to get my car out. It was quite the scene. The end. I know that there are far worse things that could have happened to me. Over winter break I have learned NOT to sweat the small stuff. A lot of the "stuff" we think is disastrous really isn't. My advice to all: Keep things in perspective; everything can always be WORSE!

I am keeping my eye on the prize and looking forward to graduation.

Jr Comp Exam Info

2010-01-05T14:06:00.000-05:00

It's that time again! Students may take an exemption/waiver exam for the junior level (J Course) composition course requirement. The exam is a two-hour timed essay based on a provided text. You must register in person between 9:00 AM Monday, January 4th and 4:00 PM Friday, January 8th at the OU-C Writing Center. To take the Junior exam, you must have 90 credit hours or more and have successfully completed your first-year writing requirement (English 151 or equivalent). You may take the exam only one time.

Sustainability!

2009-11-22T14:37:00.002-05:00

So I have to write this paper for geology about sustainable living. You know, "going green" and low carbon footprints and all that jazz.

---------------------------

In the world of 2009, the pursuit of “green” seems to seek out and infest every sector of our lives. What if I want a new car? The tide of the times urges me to “go green”. And if I want a new toilet? The tide remains constant. Even in line at the grocery store we are presented with the cursory choice to take up our cloth shopping bags and fight for the good of the environment. How do we know that “going green” isn’t just the next buzzword to come out of a marketing machine, but is instead a legitimate chance to preserve a clean Earth? A mixture of common sense and hard science provide us the backbone for the green agenda. Yes, there are alarmists who spout environmental boilerplate ad nauseum, but what does it matter if the end is relatively quick or relatively slow; an end is an end–and this one is avoidable. It is easy to imagine filling one’s own home with trash until it is a noxious hole. It is also easy to envision eating all of the food from one’s refrigerator and then having none left. However, applying these simple concepts to a global scale baffles most minds. How could the Earth be so large and not be limitless? It defies logic for one person to think his actions make any real impact, and in a world with only one person, they wouldn’t. Applied to billions of people, however, it becomes quite a pickle. So how do we motivate people on that scale to change their thinking? Maybe a good buzzword is what we need after all.

More Pics from National Day on Writing

2009-10-27T15:12:00.002-04:00

More National Day on Writing Pics

2009-10-23T15:57:00.002-04:00

First National Day on Writing!

2009-10-23T14:07:00.004-04:00

The Learning Center's own Sarah Cook put together the decorations to celebrate October 20th, the first National Day on Writing. Here are some photos of the event!

Bright banners announce the day to students wending their way through construction

OU-C students get involved by letting us know their thoughts on writing, whether it be how writing allows them to communicate with the rest of the human race... or whether it simply causes their hands to cramp :)

More post-cards to come in the following blog entry!

Twilight?

2009-10-14T17:35:00.002-04:00

In my ENG356 course (Young Adult Literature with Dr. Schmittauer), we are given an article a week for which we have to write a blog response. This week's article (found here) is about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series.

I have a confession. No, I do not love the Twilight series. In fact, my confession is this: I have refused to read Twilight so that I can maintain my prideful sense of superiority over those that love it. Awful, right? I actually considered reading it for the same reason that Kellen Rice, the author of this article, says she did (to see what all the hype was about). But I abandoned the idea rather quickly when I realized that I might actually end up liking the books. Then what superiority could I cling to? I would have nothing left.

Thankfully, Kellen Rice has saved me the trouble and stroked my ego in one sarcastic and sharply-written article for Blast Magazine. But, as an Literature major and future Library Science student, I am starting to wonder if I should read them anyway. I'd really rather not.

How about you? Twilight: Love it or hate it? Should I feel a sense of obligation to read the series?

Happy Columbus Day?

2009-10-12T07:55:00.002-04:00

Christine Armario from the Associated Press covers an interesting story today:
The Darker Side of Columbus Emerges in the US Classroom.

Thoughts?

Writing Contest Announced!

2009-10-07T12:43:00.004-04:00

mad-lib blogging :)

2009-09-25T10:28:00.004-04:00

1. adjective
2. noun
3. noun
4. gerund
5. adjective
6. adverb
7. infinitive

Working in the writing center has been a [1] experience for me. I've learned a great deal of information about [2] and [3] definitely improved my [4] skills. I've met some [5] people in my short tenure here, and I [6] hope [7].

Getting in the groove...

2009-09-25T10:15:00.010-04:00

Well, I have now been working in the Writing Lab for about three weeks and all is going well. I've had some difficult tutoring sessions, and some that went like a breeze. Before I had my first tutee I was a little nervous about what to expect, or about how I should handle certain situations. But the guidelines given about the Writing Center's goals have really been helpful. Keeping in mind the "big picture" goal of helping students become better writers (vs. helping them get a good grade on one paper) is a guideline that is really helping me to remained focused on what I am doing here, and why I work in the Writing Center.

There is something extremely satisfying about helping someone. That may sound like a "duh" statement, but as I get older I am finding it to be increasingly true for me. Having someone come in completely confused about an assignment, unsure of themselves, and fearful of bad grades, and then helping them focus on their own goal and leave the Writing Center feeling confident and purposeful is very satisfying.

All the people that work here are great. This is my last quarter before I graduate (YAY!) but I'm finding myself wishing that I had started working here earlier in my OU-C career. But hey... graduation is graduation, right? I'm still looking forward to getting out of here, even though I know I will enjoy the time that I have left.

Working for me

2009-09-25T10:15:00.007-04:00

Working in the WC is, and has always been, an experience. I think this year's experience is an improvement over last year's. The new computers (especially the Smartboard) help so much. Communication between everyone seems to have improved tremendously. Plus, I always love to see all the new faces that come with a new Freshman class.

The number off English classes is up, and we have been busy for most of this past week. I prefer to be busy tutoring when I'm here. So far, everyone I've worked with has left with a smile and seems eager to learn.

To date, this year is working for me.

Uno, Dos, Tres

2009-09-25T10:15:00.006-04:00

10:16am and there's only coffee. I'm still hoping that an Iced Tea Maker will find it's way to our fishbowl shores sometime before Christmas, but who's to say what lies ahead. My LC experience this quarter has been staccato at best. I have only helped one person, and that wasn't even during my shift. A last-minute barrage of tutees overwhelmed Julie amid an evening lull and I happened to be around. This sort of flexibility is something that makes the LC a casual and enjoyable environment.

What do you think...?

2009-09-09T13:54:00.004-04:00

Have any of you heard about the uproar regarding President Obama's speech to students? If not, here's the link for most of the speech:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js-5nAOPDtY

Evidently, there is/was a huge uproar. There were parents who refused to let their kids watch it in school. Some people are calling it "propaganda" and an attempt to play "Big Brother" to American students.

Let me know what you all think! This will make for an interesting debate...

Back Again!

2009-09-09T13:35:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone enjoyed the brief time off! I know I was able to breathe and catch up on some needed rest! However, it wasn't long enough for me to recover from my burn-out.

I must say that I feel like our training helped me a lot. I think I have a better overall understanding of what our focus must be during sessions. After the hardcore training and time afterward to reflect, I think I'll be able to enter tutoring sessions with more clarity and perhaps a bit more confidence than before. Hopefully I'll be able to help other students more and more as time progresses.

WELCOME FALL 2009

2009-09-08T07:09:00.002-04:00

What an exciting time to be in education!

Hundreds of thousands of people are headed back to school this fall,
and we, here in at OU-C's Writing Center, are a part of that history.

Sipping my vanilla nut coffee this morning, I began to wonder:

how will my own work contribute to an educated, democratic society?

My first day in the Writing Center

2009-08-27T17:13:00.001-04:00

Hello! My name is Julie, and I am one of the new Writing Center tutors for this fall. I am a senior here at OU-C, and am in the BSS program, majoring in Literature and Communications. I will graduate after Fall Quarter, and I plan on going on to grad school for Library Science. In the mean time, I am really looking forward to working here and helping my fellow students improve their processes for writing papers. I have helped Dr. Kasbekar with tutoring her students over the last couple of quarters and have thoroughly enjoyed it, so coming here to the Writing Center seems like a natural transition for me.

Today was the third day of orientation for the Writing tutors, but my first day. I missed the first two days of orientation because I was just hired yesterday afternoon. Today, we covered some interesting topics--dealing with biases, research methods (with Head Librarian Allan Pollchik), tips for engaging tutees, and the like.

Thanks to Debra Nichols for this opportunity, and thanks for all of the veteran Writing Tutors for welcoming me into the group. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you better!

Howdy!

2009-08-27T14:54:00.000-04:00

Hey, all :)

Okay, so day 3 of training is behind us. I feel like I got a lot out of our sessions. While covering Caleb's shift today, I had a tutee come in, and I was able to remember some of the things we discussed--i.e., "Why?" I found myself focusing more on fleshing the paper out than on grammar, which I had been getting bad about. I would love a full-time job as an editor or proof-reader, but alas.

Ankle is throbbing. Can't wait to go home and prop my feet up, snuggle my kitties, then watch some Spock on Star Trek. :D

Day Two: Online Training & Best Practices

2009-08-26T13:14:00.002-04:00

Was it just me, or was training today a ride on the Vortex?

Thankfully, Jenn Slone popped in and shared her vision in regards to the online tutoring she helped to create last Winter quarter. Although the piloting program wasn't, er, exactly successful, I guess we have identified some of the gut-plunges (to keep up with the roller-coaster metaphor). I do agree that our current route is simply too wordy in the instructions and potentially overwhelming for technologically-naive students--we may be back at the first rail, but we have more experience now to develop something more useful in the future . . .

I was so glad to have the sample papers from McClain's class--the explication of "Daddy" matched up very well with our student's "Snake" paper. I need to publicize more often how intellectually you folks approach your work--working with you on identifying "Best Practices" was a fantastic conversation. I especially liked Caleb's observation that we will be "doing less, just more intensely"--which is just what we need.

Finally, not to be the debbie-downer, but I wish we had not ended by twisting through the "corkscrew of imbalance" in regards to the writing/math challenges of balanced work n the Center . . . one thing to keep in mind, though, is that although we all tutor, we do have different approaches and philosophies to it. I'm sure we can learn from each other as we continue to work side-by-side this year.

So there! Here's our Blog for All today. Enjoy your evenings!

Learning Center URL

2009-08-25T14:40:00.004-04:00

Anyone have ideas for what a good url would be? "www.ouclearningcenter.com" or maybe "www.learnatouc.com" or something.

Anyway, here is the link to the template I chose for our prospective website.

Thoughts?

WC Training: Day One

2009-08-25T12:48:00.003-04:00

I think today's training really got me in the mode to learn more about becoming a better tutor. I enjoyed the discussion and stories among the group. The article we reviewed today, written by William Macauley Jr., provided some great ways to mentally organize the path of a session as well as to bring focus to a student's assignment. Setting an agenda for a session also allows the tutor and tutee to get and remain on the same page. I plan on giving this strategy a shot by implementing it in future sessions.

In my opinion, today's training was successful. I was stimulated and thought critically about our work here as writing tutors. I look forward to the rest of our training.

Welcome to Fall Training and Orientation 2009

2009-08-25T07:06:00.002-04:00

Welcome back! Fall presents such a terrific opportunity to begin a fresh and envision an exciting future.

Here at the Writing Center, we value your return, peer tutors, and your commitment to providing quality writing support, freely, to OU-C's students. The university is certainly lucky to have you on board!

As we wrap up the first day of our training, would you give us some of your thoughts on the up & coming Fall quarter? What are your hopes and/or concerns for the Center? What advice would you give to a freshman who might stumble across this page? And/or, more specifically, what did you find useful from, say, MaCauley's chapter on "Setting the Agenda" or Cristy Null's visit?

Book Review: "A Beautiful Mind" by Sylvia Nasar

2009-08-17T19:46:00.000-04:00

A Beautiful Mind

"A legend by the age of thirty, recognized as a mathematical genius even as he slipped into madness, John Nash emerged after decades of ghostlike existence to win a Nobel Prize and world acclaim." ~ from cover of book

Though not a good selection for someone looking for a quick and light read, A Beautiful Mind is an intense biography of John F. Nash, Jr., a mathematician who rubbed elbows with the likes of John von Neumann and Albert Einstein. His arrogance was outweighed by his eccentric genius, which eventually won him a Nobel Prize in economics.

Before this award, however, Nash slowly lost his grip with reality and, by his thirties, fell into full-blown schizophrenia.

I have no particular interest in the field of mathematics. Nevertheless, I found this biography fascinating and poignant despite its occasional slow parts. Perhaps because biographies/autobiographies deal with the lives of real people, I overlook the "slow parts" by simply remembering that I am a voyeur into someone's life. Now that I have read the book, I have added the movie starring Russell Crowe to the top of my Netflix queue :)

Contest Ideas

2009-07-30T17:44:00.002-04:00

If we continue the writing contest next year,
what ideas do you have for topics and themes???

Happy Belated B-Day Blog!

2009-07-20T15:13:00.001-04:00

Our blog was officially ONE on July 7th!

YeAh uS!

Winner of the Spring Writing Contest

2009-06-22T18:54:00.002-04:00

A warm congratulations goes out to Sarah Cook for winning the Spring Writing Contest, LMAO: Writing with Humor.

Her piece "Monday's Misstep," as well as the other finalist from this year, will be available to read electronically soon. Stay tuned!

Happening Now: The Learning Center's Discussion About Music Genres

2009-06-22T14:32:00.003-04:00

I understand that people naturally have different tastes and opinions. What I don't understand is how people (who claim to be open-minded) close themselves off completely to entire genres of music. Especially people who are "musicians" or say they are "musically savvy" say things like, "I don't like Corporate Rock." It seems that these people say these things because they are trying to differ from the mainstream. A classic phrase that I hear a lot is, "I like everything but Country." Grrr... Pet peeve!

I always express that I judge music on a song-by-song basis. I try not to judge a song by its genre. Obviously I have styles of music that I tend to like more than others, but I try to give each song a chance. I think over-generalizations are annoying--even when it comes to music!!!

How to Give a Cat a Pill

2009-06-12T18:31:00.001-04:00

Got this in an email a few years back. I've just re-discovered it and thought I'd share!

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill inside. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by the cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in the end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow pill down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck; leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey to compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect 'mutant cat from hell' and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

2. Toss it into the air.